The In-House Lawyer’s Guide to Managing Impossible Stakeholders

Every in-house lawyer has them. The stakeholder who ignores your advice and then comes back when it goes wrong. The one who copies you into everything and expects an instant response. The one who treats legal as a rubber-stamping exercise rather than a function that’s actually there to help them. Managing difficult stakeholders is an unavoidable part of in-house legal life. Here’s how to do it without losing your mind — or your professional standing. Set boundaries — and don’t cave This is the foundation of everything else on this list. Boundaries in a stakeholder relationship are not about being difficult. They’re about being clear. What can legal help with? What falls outside the remit? What turnaround time is realistic? What does a reasonable request look like versus an unreasonable one? Set those parameters early and communicate them clearly. And then — crucially — hold them. The moment you cave on a boundary to keep someone happy, you’ve signalled that the boundary is negotiable. And once it’s negotiable, it’s effectively gone. The stakeholder who got an unreasonable turnaround once will expect it again. The one who got legal to take on something outside its remit will come back with more. Be clear. Be consistent. Don’t cave. Don’t be too responsive This one goes against every instinct, particularly for lawyers who pride themselves on being on top of things. But it matters. If you respond to every message within minutes, regardless of urgency, you train the people around you to expect that. And when you can’t deliver it — because you’re in a meeting, on a deadline, or simply dealing with something more pressing — it becomes a problem in their eyes even though it shouldn’t be. Not every email needs an immediate response. Not every Slack message requires you to drop what you’re doing. Triage your communications, respond at a considered pace, and protect the time you need to actually do your job well. Being less immediately responsive doesn’t make you less effective. In most cases, it makes you more so. Push back — clearly and professionally In-house lawyers are sometimes reluctant to push back for fear of damaging relationships with the business. But pushback, done well, doesn’t damage relationships — it builds them. When a stakeholder is asking for something unreasonable, ignoring advice, or pushing legal in a direction that creates risk, say so. Clearly, professionally and without apology. “I understand why you want to proceed this way, but I need to flag that the risk here is X — and my advice is Y.” “I can’t turn this around in two hours. I can have it to you by end of day tomorrow.” “That falls outside what legal can advise on — here’s who you need to speak to.” Pushback framed as advice rather than obstruction lands very differently. And stakeholders who know you’ll be honest with them — even when it’s not what they want to hear — tend to trust legal more, not less. Document problems and escalate if behaviour doesn’t change Most stakeholder issues can be managed through the strategies above. But occasionally, behaviour is persistent enough — or serious enough — that it needs to go further. If a stakeholder is consistently ignoring legal advice, creating risk for the business, or treating the legal function in a way that’s unreasonable, document it. Keep a clear record of what was advised, when, and what happened as a result. And if the behaviour doesn’t change after you’ve addressed it directly, escalate. Speak to your manager. Flag it through the appropriate channels. You are not obliged to absorb difficult behaviour indefinitely — and in most cases, a pattern that’s been documented is much easier to address formally than one that exists only in your memory. Escalation isn’t failure. It’s the appropriate next step when direct approaches haven’t worked. The bottom line Difficult stakeholders are part of the job. But managing them well — through clear boundaries, considered responsiveness, honest pushback and a willingness to escalate when necessary — is a skill that makes the whole of in-house legal easier. You are there to advise the business. Not to absorb unreasonable behaviour, say yes to everything, or be available at all hours on demand. Know the difference. And act accordingly.